what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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