So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
