As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
we're so committed to being not committed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
