so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
