matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
