R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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