you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
