You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
