I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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