Its about making memories worth repressing
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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