Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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