So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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