you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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