i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize