If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
