Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
