Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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