I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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