my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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