yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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