i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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