How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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