I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Found the puke drawer
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
