Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
