Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
