I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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