Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
