I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
