Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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