If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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