he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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