are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
