normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
