it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize