Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
