so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
