I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
