You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
