I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize