Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
