I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
