her vagine was all disorganized.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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