You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
