38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
