I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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