we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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