there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
