The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
