he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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