i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
