um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Randomize
