i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize