I think my fart just growled at me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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