sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
