Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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