I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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