My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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