3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
