Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
