cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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